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striders: last night my mom was like “you know what? you should go to law school, you’d be a great lawyer” and all i can picture is lawyer-me making fart noises with my mouth every time the opposing lawyer tries to talk
nock-nock-nock: Kiko Mizuhara
felkina: “Dammit brother… This is why I said we should use protection… I knew you wouldn’t last long inside me! You barely last when I rub you off with my hand…. Hay! Don’t go grabbing my breasts like that! If you want to say sorry… At
so last weekend when i was drunk off my ass i made up this thing called a “nap chat” which is a snap chat that you take with your eyes closed so it looks like you’re sleeping what u guys think should i go for the patent or nah